Sherlock Holmes: That one with Gareth David Lloyd

[elleflies]

I feel a certain amount of loyalty to Gareth David Lloyd, not because he was OMG Ianto on Torchwood (I still have yet to see all of Torchwood) but mainly because he is a really cool guy and bought my friends and I tequila shots at Dragoncon.

My loyalties are very easily bought apparently.

Anyhow, instead of watching the Superbowl (football? what is this game you call football?) I watched DT's Hamlet with jigglykat, doven, madkrazyghetto, basalt and macbeemer. Hamlet was exactly what I expected it to be and there's not much I can add besides it was amazingly well done, well acted and very enjoyable.

The rest is all jigglykat's fault as she's the one who brought Sherlock Holmes: starring Ianto Jones and Dinosaurs with her.



First and foremost: I will never get that hour and a half of my life back.

Secondly: I expected it to be bad, but more in a so bad it's almost good kind of way. This... was nothing of the sort. It was just plain BAD. The kind of bad where the snarky comments just fizzled out and everyone just sat there waiting for it to be over.

It's like they made the movie knowing that Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes would be coming out and that the general public would be on a Holmes kick and would try and get their fix anyway they could. In terms of fixes this is like crack laced with anthrax. It is BAD for you.

The acting was bad and barely understandable, the parts were not well cast and the plot devices they used: one of which was that of an old man looking back at his past. Casanova did it better and at least had the acting talent to pull it off. I'm not saying the actors can't act (GDL bought my loyalty with tequila, keep that in mind) but this was a vehicle in which no one looked good.

NO ONE looked good. The costumes were atrocious. And we didn't even need macbeemer and her expertise to confirm it. They were just THAT bad. Dominic Keating, who played Holmes is a small man and he was swimming in his clothes. Gareth David Lloyd, aka Watson, by the looks of it, has put on quite a bit of weight since Torchwood and as a result his costume was way too tight on him. He was showing some pudge at Dragoncon but it looked like it had gotten worse since then.

Lots worse. The trousers were way too low, the vest was way too high and way too tight. He looked like he could barely breathe in that vest. And the shirt bloused out in between the vest and trousers. There was even one part where Holmes, Watson and Lestrade were having a conversation and walking along and I was paying attention to none of it because Watson's fly was slowly coming unzipped and you could see his shirt peeking through.

Where was quality control on that shot? Shouldn't they have redone that once they realized it looked like his fly was open? What kind of movie IS this?!

I was pretty excited that there were dinosaurs and kraken and dragons in it. I should not have been looking forward to those things, they were just as much as a let down.

The CGI was atrocious and the dinosaur was... a kangaroo apparently. It jumped! The best part of the movie, as far as I'm concerned, was when the dinosaur was hunting prostitutes and horny young men through the alleys of London. It turned out the Kraken/Dinosaur/Dragon were all super advanced steampunk-like robots. Basically the big bad (Sherlock Holmes brother of all things!) felt like his country wasn't paying attention to him because he was just a lowly disabled soldier so he put his evil genius superpowers to work and built things to take his revenge. I'm just impressed that he managed to build a somewhat anatomically correct carnivorous dinosaur rather then the type of dinosaur the Victorians believe to have existed - dragging tail, walking upright, that type of thing. Not only does he have mechanical superpowers, he's also a super advanced paleontologist.

The movie was just ridiculous. And bad. I could go on and on and on and on: about the plot holes, the costumes, the acting, the fact that the Sherlock Holmes world includes things that haven't even been invented yet...

Just please... save yourselves. Do not watch this movie.

And Dear Gareth: I like you. You bought me a tequila shot. I think you have potential. Please choose better vehicles for that potential because this did you no favors. Also, the gym is good - please go use it.

I feel like I ragged on poor Gareth David Lloyd so much. I don't like this feeling.

Comments

[broksgurl717.livejournal.com]

I bought and watched Gareth's Sherlock...just to support Gareth. I knew from everything he's said at cons it was gonna be...interesting?

He told us at one con that the entire movie had been shot in just a couple weeks, I think. He said it was gonna be kind of bad, but hey, it was money in his pocket so I guess he didn't care too much. He needed to get some work besides just doing cons all the time, so I suppose that anything was good enough.

Let's just hope that his future projects will be better, as he's a good actor. He was great in the episode of the bill that he guest starred in and he's got a small film that's going to start production next month that he's in and will be executive producer for.

[elrina753.livejournal.com]

I really wanted to like this because I do like Gareth and do think he has talent. I just wasn't very prepared for it...

I knew none of these facts you've just revealed and it makes so much more sense! Thank you! We'd kind of gotten the feeling that the movie was made quick and was mainly just a paycheck for those in it. So I'm definitely not holding it against him.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed he gets stuff in the future that doesn't make me go LULWUT?